Embracing 40....

In a couple months time, I will be turning 40. Assuming I live till 80 (very optimistic I am I know), that means I would have lived half my life. Most women for some reasons are really uptight when you ask them about their age. For me, you don't have to ask I will tell you, voluntarily. I mean what's the point of hiding your age? Most people have been to school and are able to count, even if they can't, their estimation cannot be that far off.

People will also tend to ask you, so what have you achieved? In general, people will judge you on your career path, the kind of home you own, the car you drive, the bling you wear and what time piece you have on your wrist. Never will anyone ask how you have lived your life, how meaningful it was or have you made a difference to anyone around you. Sadly that's how it seems in the broader scheme in life. I have never been a go-getter. I hated Shenton Way life. My very first temp job was at Citibank and it was the coldest place to work and I don't mean the air con temperature. I quit after 2 weeks. I never fit in.

My first permanent job was through a friend whose uncle heads an insurance agency. I knew I wouldn't go very far being stuck on the 16th floor of Cathay Building as a secretary. Being a green horn, you merely take instructions and never question. So at 21, I tried sales. How are you to convince people to buy insurance when you are barely out of school. After 1 year of peddling financial products, I knew this wasn't for me. I hated figures and I hated telling people that they may die prematurely.

My sister was a flight attendant with SIA and I wasn't at all keen in leaving my parents alone and worrying about my sis and I should both of us decides to embrace the "great way to fly" slogan. They were desperate for crew members and standing at 1.63m, I am techinically 5cm overqualified. Mum was trying to discourage too by saying I was clumsy and would definitely overturn beer in that tight galley. She's right, I can be very "lun chun", meaning clumsy in Cantonese. There goes my "travel around the world" dream, whooosh, out of the window.

As a child, when I go to Daddy's office, Daddy was MD so I had total liberty to do whatever I can in his Somerset House office, the very building with the famous goreng pisang (I can still remember). I would roll a paper into the manual Olivetti and would pound away and type THE QUICK BROWN FOX JUMPS OVER THE LAZY DOG. If you can master this sentence on the typewriter, you basically qualifies as a secretary or a typist. All 26 alphabets are there. I would then open the ink pads and stamps away with the rubber stamps which says URGENT, PAID, in red ink, black ink, blue ink and on the table much to my dad's dismay. I would sit on Daddy's director's chair and try to see how far back it goes without the chair toppling over. Yes, I can be naughty.

Along came a job opportunity at an international school to temp for a Principal's secretary who was off for maternity leave. What was to be a two month assignment became a 17 year assignment and still counting. Nevermind I had to do loads of mailing, typing, copying, meetings, answering queries from parents, teachers, students, I was happy. Not only I engage with adults, the international students I got to know and knowing I am their "Miss Sharon at the office" was enough for me. Some of them I have watched them grow from a Kindergarten child until their graduation in High School. I never wanted to go back to Shenton Way.

I have not seriously dated anyone so technically I never had an ex. I really liked a boy once for a long time in secondary school but he was just not available. He liked a girl name Karen. Then came junior college, again I liked a boy but he was interested in a girl name Caren. You know what, I hated that name for a really long time....to think my name rhymes with it...There were a few boys in school whom I did go out with in groups though. I knew my tall dark handsome was a tall and unrealistic order so I scaled down my expectations cuz I knew I needed someone who could make me laugh, I didn't need a trophy boyfriend although having a gorgeous guy in your arms could make lots of girls eat maggots and cringe in pain. I didn't have a long checklist for my man. Someone to laugh with, takes care of me, loves his family, loves my family, loves me for who I am, was all it took for me to walk down the aisle with him. Next month we celebrate our 13th anniversary.

In July 1999, Ryan arrived after 38 weeks and was delivered c-section. No, I didn't chicken out on a natural birth. It just didn't happen as Ryan was breeched. I chose to have a LA instead of a GA. Not a bad idea to actually engage in a conversation while having the gynae cut you up, carry a baby out of you and stitch you back. Frankly, it was rather easy and I told myself, I could do this again...barely when Ryan was 9 months old, my GP congratulated me again. Ryan was going to have a brother. Marcus arrived before the end of 2000. I was never meant to experience labour pains and natural birth was only textbook knowledge for me.

The boys have been the best thing that happened to me. As a couple, we both share equal weight in parenting. Having mutual respect for parenting styles is the essence to a happy marriage and family building. If I could afford to have more children, I would love to have maybe another child. Even if I could I would have one 8 yrs back, not now as I am now about to enjoy and to pursue my hobbies, interests. With a baby, its not impossible but limiting. So it was a blessing both Ryan and Marcus was born close to one another and now able to bond and look out for each other.

Until my boys are just a bit older, I would love to spend more time seeing the world, try new things, climb Mt Fuji, see windmills and tulips, visit Holy Land, walk the Great Wall. Meanwhile I will just have to start saving, and hope my life will be continually blessed with good health, love and happiness. What's your dream?

As a parting shot, coming back to the realities of successful and gracious ageing, you try to stretch and slow down the process of ageing. You get sucked into believing whitening creme will eradicate age spots and pigmentation. Colouring your hair is no longer a choice, you cope with loosening skin cellulite and droopy eyelids amongst other parts of the body that droops. Meanwhile, before I am become too challenging for photoshopping, I'd better book a make-over with Glamour Shot to freeze time, have a few nice shots for my children and grandchildren to remember me at my prime, I'd call it Sharon at its best. Bring it on, at 40, I think my life is just beginning.