Lessons in Life - Your Heart Knows Best

As with any ice breaker, it is always difficult to start a conversation, to start a piece of writing. An artist with a blank canvas would ponder where he will get his inspiration for his next piece of oil. I have not written for a long but there were just too many thoughts seeping in and draining out in the course of my busy life. Each time I reminded myself I need to pen those thoughts somewhere lest I forget them, which I usually don’t and some topics do make really good coffee shop talk. We have a myriad ways to access media, an electronic device may be your newspaper, who need fingers stained with ink. I glazed through global issues, acknowledge that things happen for a reason or for no reason. I am apathetic to politics and have no inclinations to dabble into them. Their topics too dry. I grew up in a society which decides what is best for me. While I agree the educational system in Singapore is competitive and somewhat compromise on my childrens’ holistic development, I think it’s the great in many ways. It may not work for some but its one I can manage and have thrived. What affects me most are when innocent lives are taken for no rhyme or reason. A by product of an insane world where violence are depicted everywhere. What is more chilling are the perpetrators are not stupid but are once very intelligent individuals. Some things just snapped. I once attended life-coaching. I paid to learn how to understand my life, to discover myself, where my strengths and weaknesses lie. Not sure how it benefitted me but I think it did some good for my business and for my own personal development. Having had no experience running a floral business, I needed to know what my USP (unique selling point) was that could help me boost my sales. Competing against the big players was dumb, I had to put up my own show. My product was the same as any others, but I had to tap into my inner self to add value to my product, tangible or intangible. I suppose I was sincere and naturally, quite a few of my customers became my friend. There were also a few black sheeps who took advantage and never paid for the goods I delivered. A repeat customer “bought” 99 stalks of roses during Valentine’s Day. His girlfriend got her roses but I was left high and dry, I didn’t get my money. I basically gave the bouquet away. I believe what goes around comes around. I never pursued further after a few attempts in locating the cheater. Funny how my product brought people together but also tore relationships apart. I knew too many of their dirty secrets and that could also be the reason why they found another florist. Some got married and stopped sending flowers. Some had me send two bouquets to two different locations. Trouble is, I had wives cornering me to divulge where the other bouquet went as some idiots have forgotten to inform me not to issue them receipt which The Wife obviously intercepted. One showed up at my shop front while I was out delivering. I had coffee nearby until I saw the coast was clear to return to my shop. Some couples do split as a result. Professionally, I do not disclose where bouquets are delivered but I think their lies caught up eventually, unfortunately. This brings me to discuss why people do what they do? Here I mean, emotional and physical infidelity? Right or wrong? Forgiveable or unforgiveable? Acceptable or unacceptable? Generally people are quick to judge. Normal, human instincts. Try scratching the surface a little more and we could maybe understand why people stray or attempt to stray, successfully or unsuccessfully. It’s a whole psychological topic which is so complex that shouldn’t even be discussed here. Even we ourselves cannot support our basis for such transgressions. That also means we have not fully understood our own psyche. We feel dejected when we are spurned by a lover, we suffer in silence while the other moved on way too quickly. We know too well what is not good for us yet we become even more drawn to the wrong kind of love. There’s simply too many intertwined factors that could result in a sporadic fling. Maybe at that moment, it felt right. So is it wrong? Think about it. What is even harder than the transgressions is closure to a relationship. It may take weeks, months and for some, years. Some may think closure was achieved only to experience a relapse, like cancer in remission. The relapse can be a make or break. Through some divine intervention, some succeed. Sometimes in life, there’s no clear distinction, some areas are indeed gray. The heart is still the nerve centre of your body. It controls everything, you better believe it. If you think what you do is right, then its right. You take charge of your life, no one else.