Many of my friends and acquaintances whom I "see" regularly on Facebook have posted photos of their children, including myself and tapping open their photos to reveal the beautiful interaction between parent and child and the deep bond my friends have with their children.. indeed heartwarming.
The imminent day will come when we grow old and eventually fade from this earth, how will our children remember us? Have you wondered what the eulogy would be? If there's even going to be one for that matter? Being the positive me, assuming there is. What would your children say about you to the world. Have you influenced their lives greatly or are you one that your child resent and not wanting to be associated with? Or rather to be a person who have made such an impact to the people around you and to be immortalised in that very brief eulogy, so people will know you, as a person, a spouse, a friend. You will be surprised how little people know about you.
It's a very profound thought which I recently had. Being a person who cares about what others thought of me, I want to leave this world knowing I have touched someone's life. Even if its just one person, it will make my life worth living. I may not be that rich tycoon to donate a hospital or fund a school project but closer to home, have you made a difference to your child's life. The child will know when you are nagging and when you meant well. Will your child proudly profess to their own children when they become parents one day say, "you know what, my mum and dad was there for me, for richer and for poorer...", just to borrow a line.
We have evolved to become greedy, self centered people that we often use monetary or material rewards to barter trade time with our children. We get too engaged in your career building so we can hoard enough for our childrens' needs. Nothing wrong but what message are we telling them. What seems so right can turn out to be so wrong. Are we giving them the wrong signals. As parents we work hard, I'm sure we want our children to appreciate the long hours we toiled , the overtime we do, the late night staying up to finish a presentation. They must know that it's not a given. My parents don't owe me an education. Count your blessings if you are born into a well to do family, your parents can buy you an education but the boy who helps his dad deliver newspapers at the break of dawn, he has just as much a rewarding life than anyone out there. He is emotionally rich in his relationship with his father. He loves his dad enough to offer his time.
I wasn't born with a silver spoon. We've had our ups and downs. I never once blamed anyone for having lacked anything. It was something that has to happen to make me who I'm today, not a charmed life but a complete person, one who has been through some test in life. I can tell you this now that I have done my homework in the dark. Been there, done that. But with that brief episode in my life, I can appreciate basic things I now have. I can only say it doesn't matter how little or how much I have. I have now a shelter over my head, hot meals on the table, a lovely family with a caring spouse, my folks are well, charming siblings, a niece that adores me and my boys to keep me on my toes.
To me, there's so much one can have, and one can have only so much. My agenda in life is simple, to bring up my children to the best of my ability, give them the time they deserve. Engage them in your conversations and don't think they don't understand what's going on. They observe but they may not tell you what they see, why should they? Keep life simple, we really don't need a whole lot of things. It will all come to nothing one day. The intangible things like time, feelings, thoughts, kind gestures, they'll go a longer way than most material things, and people remember you through that.
If you live a life like a hermit, you will die a hermit. Stretch out your hands and reach out, show a little love, tell that person he/she looks well, share a story, be that listening ear, be humble and ask for help, smile and say thank you to the person that hands out the free papers every morning at the train station. Not difficult. The petite lady at the train station gives me my papers and with every copy she greets, never ever missing a beat. That must have been a record breaker for the most number of times a day one says "good morning sir/madam". I was having a quick lunch one day and 2 ladies who seemed like foreign domestic helpers wanted to share a table. They were so polite that I was slightly embarassed. "May I share your table?", one of them asked, that did it for me. From now on, I will use this phrase, rather than "anyone sitting here?", see the difference. We learn from one another, never be a snob. Good manners reflects good upbringing.
Nothing else matters like loving your loved ones like there's no tomorrow. Enjoy the moment, seize every opportunity to tell them how much you appreciate and love them. Better to let them know when you can than when you can't.
Don't be afraid to love...
