There comes a time when you do a stock take on your life. Family members, friends, colleagues, casual acquaintance, ex-partners, past lovers, foes...I am sure all of us have a share of a unique concoction of people in your lives. So you have lots of friends, maybe 800 friends on Facebook yet when you do need someone to share a problem or to share a joy, freak out and don't know where to go.
You have just been promoted, after calling your immediate family members, who is next on your to call list? Who are the ones listed as favourites on your smart phones? For many, there aren't. When you are 6 and have a best friend, you want mum to invite her for your birthday party and play paper dolls with her. When you are 16, you have a best friend to catch a movie with. At 26, she helps you choose your gown and calm your nerves on your wedding day. At 36, we share tips on parenting and fret over kids. But who really is your friend? Who would share that New York cheesecake with you and help sabotage that diet plan? By 60, I hope to have a bosom friend to have tea with, make achar, cook babi pongteh together.
A good friend lifts you up in sad times and share the joys with you in good times. You can both not meet but yet you know she is there when you need her. You feel a connection, your ears tingle. When you ring her, she tells you she was just about to pick up the phone to do the same. There's a tinge of telepathy, you think alike, you feel for the same stuff. That's what chemistry is about, there's an formula that completes a puzzle. You can second guess her, think ahead of her, knows what she likes, buys what she needs. A good friend is observant, she can feel when you are down or tell you off when you slack. You can tell her things you can't share even with your sibling or spouse. She doesn't judge. She is not afraid to tell you her darkest fears, her insecurities. She can tell you about her weight problem as she found a soft spot for a particular ice cream. She asks you why, when, how, what if, should I, or should I not...she knows you won't lie. If you think you have a friend like her, keep her and hang on to her for dear life. One who can keep a secret and would take it to her grave. In today's harried life, you have no time to foster close relationships. You have no time to meet, no time for coffee, no time for lunch. Children zaps our energies. Spouses are demanding. In laws need to be kept happy. Mum complaining not hearing from you. Siblings want to meet up, not just on birthdays. Have we gotten that busy? Think about it, maybe we do have time.
A friend will call you for no rhyme or reason, maybe just to hear a voice. A simple text message, a smiley emoticon, a corny joke, a mutually understood acronym, just to say you are thinking of him or her. You never know how much that means to someone you care about. It just make life so much more bearable....so much sweeter.
Pick up that phone and call a friend today. I just did. Have time for them and they will have time for you.
