.....As we welcome 2013

Coming to the end of another crazy year, I sigh with a sense of relief.  Having two boys taking the PSLE exams two years in a row and now that everything is over with the new school year starting in less than a week, suddenly it all seems like I am now on cruise control.  My closest friends, though not many, know me as one who is laid back and passive parenting seems like an easier choice for me.  Lead by example.  If you yell at your kids, they will yell at you at some point.  You speak respectfully to the people  around you, your children will naturally emulate.  When my boys fumble, I also reflect upon myself.  Maybe I did the same and they think its alright too.  They are only 12, you think they can decide what's right or wrong?  To a large extend, they are really just kids.  That's why I take a step back and put myself in their shoes.  Its not easy being a child in Singapore.  In academic terms, there's just too much to study in a year, they are continuingly fighting for time, tests after tests, exams after exams. We seem like a happier bunch.  There's much more a stigma to fail your exams these days than years ago. After exams, my motto for them is "play all you want!". However, when its time for serious work, your kids need to know to stow their gadgets aside, at least for a while.  Not easy though.

I was extremely pleased with 2012.  My junior passed his exams and I know he did his best, that's what I need him to do regardless of the outcome.  He did not disappoint me yet surprised me.  He even proved a teacher wrong.  When a teachers tells you that your child is limited, you ask yourself if its true or you try to prove her wrong.  I did not tell my child the teacher shared this anecdote with us, how could I?  It was only when my child drive home an A for that subject that I told him that to have faith in oneself.  Only you and you alone can decide what you want in life and never let anyone tell you that you are finished or cannot ever succeed. 

As the days go by, everyone gets on with their own lives.  I get preoccupied with my immediate family.  I don't see my folks, siblings, nieces and nephews as often as I would like.  I try to make an extra effort to make time for them, even if I have to break my routine once in a while.  I think I am entitled to a bit of flexibility.  A break from routine is also refreshing to the soul.  It doesn't need to be a big family outing.  I realise a short drive to mum's place, for coffee and some good time chat and nibbles brings the family closer.  I am glad I don't need to take a plane to see my folks and siblings.
I have many expatriate friends and I can see how much they misses their friends and families when they make Singapore their second home.  I don't blame them for dashing out of Singapore the moment school vacation starts.  There's no place like home.

I spend most of my Christmas holidays going through my photos and videos I made over the years.  I particularly enjoyed watching my kids when their were babies and little tiny tots.  I often look at stranger's babies and envy the moment they have with their child.  But I quickly recall that I too had my moment years ago and I did savour it like they did.  The videos do help me remember and to relive those moments very vividly. 

With the year coming to an end, I wish to embrace 2013 like a new friend.  I want to get to know the world better.  Break some routine, get out of my comfort zone.  Talk less, see more...maybe eat less.  As much as I enjoy my food exploration, I am hoping to introduce more greens into my diet.  Cut out the fatty food.  Eat 70% full.  This may sound like a new year resolution set to fail.  I am not sure if I have to put all these writing on the wall to remind me not to eat the skin of fried chicken (KFC).  Someone's going to eat it, so am I making someone else eat my fats?  I think small steps are a better bet than giant leaps. I have forgotten how my gym looks like now.  I gave myself too many excuses. 
Its wonderful to see photos on Facebook of family get together, over a meal, at a park, a beach.  I wish to see more of these than reading if Mr X likes Carlsberg or likes Scoot.  Please do not get upset if you find yourself having lesser friends, if you are even keeping track.  There will be one or two people you have befriended but have made no difference to your lives, feel free to delete them.  There's a high chance that you have also been deleted from some of your friend's account.  There's no need to stress over FB.  If you find that you need to get gratifications from seeing 101 likes on your food post, go get a life.  If you don't like what you read or see, just move on. 

In this festive season, just spare a thought for those lonely people out there.  Some you know, some you don't.  In your own way, just pray for those whose family are torn apart in some ways you won't ever understand.  Do not judge.  Some are suicidal, some are sadden and lost in this big big world.  They have no friends to turn to.  Best friends are not in their vocabulary.  A few kind words for them could sometimes save their lives.  As the world becomes more and more a cruel place, with mindless killings, shooting incidents and irresponsible hit and runs, causing loss of lives, let us just pray in our own faith that the coming new year and many years to come bring more peace to the world.  Peace within the family, within oneself, inner peace.  Surround us with more love and harmony.  Keep it simple.  All we need is LOVE.

Happy New Year to all my love ones and friends and those dropping by to read my ramblings.  Take lots of photos of your loved ones, places you visit, things you have, food you eat...

To my spouse, my boys, family and friends, I luv ya.

Shaz

Taipei Interrupted

On a busy street in Ruifang

There's just too many things to savour in Taipei during our short stay of 7 days. Along a narrow one way street on Da An Steet, Royal Palace hotel was spot on, close to the action and main transport line. Unlimited supply of espresso, the much needed wifi, complimentary fresh fruit platter and minibar drinks daily. Even a considerate toilet seat to warm my butt.   I visited the Taiwan Tourism office prior to my trip and they gave me a commemorative EasyCard which we gladly topped up to facilitate commuting. It sure beats fumbling with unfamiliar currency and mind boggling conversions. Train fares are extremely affordable and network highly efficient. Mum had no problem getting a priority seat. Commuters are gracious and impressively orderly for a crowded city like Taipei. What I also noticed was how the city was designed with lots of consideration for people on the go. A little thought really goes a long way.  There were phone charging and wifi stations in train stations for those very desperate moments. While some train stations have no glass panelled barriers, somehow the civility of the commuters makes it less of a worry. Their "stand on right of escalators" took a bit of adjustment. The left-hand drive was enough to make us clowns as we often attempt to open the driver's door when our transfer came to pick us up at the airport.

The city is vibrant and people very hospitable. Maybe they could tell we were tourist and want our buck. The cake shops were irresistably attractive, I felt like a poor child looking into the beautiful shop decked with lots of icing cakes.  While I cannot consider coffee to be their forte, I can see why when every 500m you stumble on Starbucks outlet. Generally cheaper to consume in Taipei.

A view from the top of Jiufen

Street food (dai pai dong), don't get me started. I am not a fan of Thai rice, so when my first bowl of lor bak (braised pork) rice was served, I was surprised that Taiwanese use short grain rice like the Japanese. As I like my rice slight sticky, you can imagine how happy I was. If you patronise at a particular stall, the owners would let you snap a photo or two, the others I would much prefer to wait until they get busy and I shoot. Never attempt to take a picture when they are idle. They are probably too grouchy to bear with a trigger happy me. Was ticked off on two occasion, one was a lady outside a temple selling lotus flower. At Jiufen, I had a mouthful for asking too much, perhaps I should have bought something from her to shut her up, but I was the visitor, she was the host. But they were isolated cases, some were simply happy you took an interest in their products. If you are a foodie, you got to head down here yourself and experience Taiwanese food in its full glory.

Smelly Toufu

The best beef brisket soup on our trip

Mega Sausages

I have no qualms eating from a street vendor as witnessing the general public chowing down their meals quite happily, what's there's to be afraid of getting dysentery. I was more than happy to have a go at where the locals hang out, although the mean stench of the smelly tofu was a wee bit over the top. But as a tourist, I was ready to embrace the country, smell and all.  I'm not sure if I can succinctly journal the essence of Taipei on this 4.5hr flight back home. I somehow have a feeling that there's more of a communal living here than back home. We were utterly tickled how when the garbage truck comes around, a shrilling version of "Fur Elise" fills the the air. We dropped our not so nice coffee and stood there to watch something which we have never seen. Every shop freeze whatever they are doing, made a quick dash to dump their own trash, some even toss their neatly separated trash into a compartmentalized machine. A little section reserved for edible food scraps for feeding animals. No food wastage.

You can skip the big department store like Sogo. Go where the locals go.  The markets are packed with food stuff fit for Chinese New Year.  Waxed and preserved meats everywhere, some are visually not very appealing but I bet Andrew Zimmern of Bizarre Food would be very keen to devour.

Climate rocks!  When you are in Singapore, the humidity gets you real bad.  The 15 degree on average was a joy!  No worries of melting make-up.  I love it.

There's just too much to even want to pen it down, I have just realised I had taken over a thousand photos, just a few here to share.  A picture speaks a thousand words.  We are all in denial, but we also love coming home to our own pillows.

Party of 8 @ Dr Sun Yat Sen's Memorial L-R: Me, Paul, Marcus, Gab (nephew), Gerry (sis-in-law), Mum-in-law Irene, Ryan & Peter (Bro-in-law)

Merry Christmas and looking forward to some gastronomical adventures in 2013.

Best wishes to all for the New Year!

Yours,

Shaz

Shopping haven @ Xi Men Ting

Superb Engineering @ Taipei 101

Fab Four at Chiang Kai Shek

I feel safe already!

Marcus, Gabriel & Ryan having sausages...again at Jiufen

At Jiufen, uncle tells me more...

Kong bak bao...yummy!

Fresh seafood prepared right before your eyes

With my sister in law Gerry, having some or luak, zha jiang mian & blood cake soup!

Lor Bak Rice with pickled vegetables - AWESOME!

The upsized...

Markie celebrated his 12th birthday, luv ya!

Lessons in Life - Your Heart Knows Best

As with any ice breaker, it is always difficult to start a conversation, to start a piece of writing. An artist with a blank canvas would ponder where he will get his inspiration for his next piece of oil. I have not written for a long but there were just too many thoughts seeping in and draining out in the course of my busy life. Each time I reminded myself I need to pen those thoughts somewhere lest I forget them, which I usually don’t and some topics do make really good coffee shop talk. We have a myriad ways to access media, an electronic device may be your newspaper, who need fingers stained with ink. I glazed through global issues, acknowledge that things happen for a reason or for no reason. I am apathetic to politics and have no inclinations to dabble into them. Their topics too dry. I grew up in a society which decides what is best for me. While I agree the educational system in Singapore is competitive and somewhat compromise on my childrens’ holistic development, I think it’s the great in many ways. It may not work for some but its one I can manage and have thrived. What affects me most are when innocent lives are taken for no rhyme or reason. A by product of an insane world where violence are depicted everywhere. What is more chilling are the perpetrators are not stupid but are once very intelligent individuals. Some things just snapped. I once attended life-coaching. I paid to learn how to understand my life, to discover myself, where my strengths and weaknesses lie. Not sure how it benefitted me but I think it did some good for my business and for my own personal development. Having had no experience running a floral business, I needed to know what my USP (unique selling point) was that could help me boost my sales. Competing against the big players was dumb, I had to put up my own show. My product was the same as any others, but I had to tap into my inner self to add value to my product, tangible or intangible. I suppose I was sincere and naturally, quite a few of my customers became my friend. There were also a few black sheeps who took advantage and never paid for the goods I delivered. A repeat customer “bought” 99 stalks of roses during Valentine’s Day. His girlfriend got her roses but I was left high and dry, I didn’t get my money. I basically gave the bouquet away. I believe what goes around comes around. I never pursued further after a few attempts in locating the cheater. Funny how my product brought people together but also tore relationships apart. I knew too many of their dirty secrets and that could also be the reason why they found another florist. Some got married and stopped sending flowers. Some had me send two bouquets to two different locations. Trouble is, I had wives cornering me to divulge where the other bouquet went as some idiots have forgotten to inform me not to issue them receipt which The Wife obviously intercepted. One showed up at my shop front while I was out delivering. I had coffee nearby until I saw the coast was clear to return to my shop. Some couples do split as a result. Professionally, I do not disclose where bouquets are delivered but I think their lies caught up eventually, unfortunately. This brings me to discuss why people do what they do? Here I mean, emotional and physical infidelity? Right or wrong? Forgiveable or unforgiveable? Acceptable or unacceptable? Generally people are quick to judge. Normal, human instincts. Try scratching the surface a little more and we could maybe understand why people stray or attempt to stray, successfully or unsuccessfully. It’s a whole psychological topic which is so complex that shouldn’t even be discussed here. Even we ourselves cannot support our basis for such transgressions. That also means we have not fully understood our own psyche. We feel dejected when we are spurned by a lover, we suffer in silence while the other moved on way too quickly. We know too well what is not good for us yet we become even more drawn to the wrong kind of love. There’s simply too many intertwined factors that could result in a sporadic fling. Maybe at that moment, it felt right. So is it wrong? Think about it. What is even harder than the transgressions is closure to a relationship. It may take weeks, months and for some, years. Some may think closure was achieved only to experience a relapse, like cancer in remission. The relapse can be a make or break. Through some divine intervention, some succeed. Sometimes in life, there’s no clear distinction, some areas are indeed gray. The heart is still the nerve centre of your body. It controls everything, you better believe it. If you think what you do is right, then its right. You take charge of your life, no one else.

Best Friends...

There comes a time when you do a stock take on your life. Family members, friends, colleagues, casual acquaintance, ex-partners, past lovers, foes...I am sure all of us have a share of a unique concoction of people in your lives. So you have lots of friends, maybe 800 friends on Facebook yet when you do need someone to share a problem or to share a joy, freak out and don't know where to go.

You have just been promoted, after calling your immediate family members, who is next on your to call list? Who are the ones listed as favourites on your smart phones? For many, there aren't. When you are 6 and have a best friend, you want mum to invite her for your birthday party and play paper dolls with her. When you are 16, you have a best friend to catch a movie with. At 26, she helps you choose your gown and calm your nerves on your wedding day. At 36, we share tips on parenting and fret over kids. But who really is your friend? Who would share that New York cheesecake with you and help sabotage that diet plan? By 60, I hope to have a bosom friend to have tea with, make achar, cook babi pongteh together.

A good friend lifts you up in sad times and share the joys with you in good times. You can both not meet but yet you know she is there when you need her. You feel a connection, your ears tingle. When you ring her, she tells you she was just about to pick up the phone to do the same. There's a tinge of telepathy, you think alike, you feel for the same stuff. That's what chemistry is about, there's an formula that completes a puzzle. You can second guess her, think ahead of her, knows what she likes, buys what she needs. A good friend is observant, she can feel when you are down or tell you off when you slack. You can tell her things you can't share even with your sibling or spouse. She doesn't judge. She is not afraid to tell you her darkest fears, her insecurities. She can tell you about her weight problem as she found a soft spot for a particular ice cream. She asks you why, when, how, what if, should I, or should I not...she knows you won't lie. If you think you have a friend like her, keep her and hang on to her for dear life. One who can keep a secret and would take it to her grave. In today's harried life, you have no time to foster close relationships. You have no time to meet, no time for coffee, no time for lunch. Children zaps our energies. Spouses are demanding. In laws need to be kept happy. Mum complaining not hearing from you. Siblings want to meet up, not just on birthdays. Have we gotten that busy? Think about it, maybe we do have time.

A friend will call you for no rhyme or reason, maybe just to hear a voice. A simple text message, a smiley emoticon, a corny joke, a mutually understood acronym, just to say you are thinking of him or her. You never know how much that means to someone you care about. It just make life so much more bearable....so much sweeter.

Pick up that phone and call a friend today. I just did. Have time for them and they will have time for you.

How's it so far?

So I was told 2012 is THE YEAR FOR THE THOSE BORN IN THE YEAR OF THE BOAR. I had the maximum 5-star rating. A great year I was promised by a Chinese geomancer who read the highs and the lows of all the 12 Chinese Zodiac signs during a CNY programme. Black and blue is my auspicious colour (easy, at least they are not asking me to wear a fushia boa for good luck).

So much for a great start, spending the first few minutes on the throne, and now nursing a stubborn cough since the second day of the Lunar New Year. After I have wished and shook everyone's hands at the strike of midnight, I disappeared into my favourite room in the house. I emerged several minutes later wondering what I ate wrong and where my relatives were...they left.

Still coughing as I am typing this. I wonder what the year ahead is going to be like. I am liking it very much so far. The mood around the air is great,people around me are happy. Other than the cough, my cheeks are ruddy, hair is looking great, skin with a slight hint of the sun. I have been told to be cautious as those born in the year of the boar will be rather attractive...this year only.. so cash in or not? Not taking it literally of course but I knew what it meant. I could sense its going to be a pleasant year with less squabbles, a more harmonious ambience within the household. Less power struggle as I can see I am going to be the one to take the back seat and let others drive. I am tired and want to spend more time on me. I want to see my friends, see my aunt who is visiting from Australia, take my God-daughter for a meal, have ice cream with my buddies, travel with my family, do things at whims and at my fancy. My boys are independent, they need a break from mummy. She nags and at times erratic. That's me. I can be so predictable and unpredictable all at the same time.

Into my 40s officially, I have earned a certain right to be who I am. Take me as I am. Love me, love my imperfections. Perfection is such a ugly word, as life was never meant to be perfect. Those seeking for one is not for this world. Be thankful for who you are, be thankful for the people around you. You'll be amazed who could turn out to be your worst enemies and someone you least expects becomes your best friend through some unexpected turn of events. Treasure those people as your paths are meant to cross. Sometimes they will make you a better person through their outloook in life, through their sharing about parenting or becomes a mirror, someone to keep you in order. I could deal with that.

Other than this cough, I guess its been a great start. There's love in the air, the mood is good, career is stable, colleagues are great, why should I complain, and if it ain't broken, why fix it?

Whatever your zodiac say of you, keep it at the back of your head just like the occasional nagging you get from mum. Don't be foolish to place your last $100 at the casino just because your geomancer tells you to. Yes, I have been a foolish girl but have learnt from it that why I can now say this. Learn from mistakes but there's always the good and bad lurking side by side. Too bad, they need to coexist.

2011 was a great year, many happy moments to remember. That's already a part of history. Look ahead and seek new adventures. Be brave and take bold steps, big big strides. In retropect, you can dare say, "at least I tried".

Its going to be a busy year for all. A blog entry at the end of the month for a start. Afterall, its therapeutic for me. A way to unwind, recharge, download, offload my thoughts, to be in sync with the heart. That's all that matters and I know there'll be a few reading this.

Its late, I need to recharge, ready to face the world again.

Good night folks. Sweet dreams!

S.