Do you hear yourself telling your friends, "aiyah you know lah, I have been so busy, where got time to.........". You can fill in the blanks with just about any reason, any excuse. But are we that busy, so busy, so damn busy to actually forgo doing things that makes us a bit different from Mrs Tan, our boring neighbour who only sits in front of the gogglebox watching some Taiwanese soap which has been running since Ah Boy was 6 years old (Ah Boy is now 11). In our one life time on this earth, don't you want to do the things you have always dreamt of doing, taking up photography, visiting a a very old great grand aunt who may kick the bucket anytime, volunteeering for your children school event or to do just that one thing you have brushed aside saying, ok I will do it one day when I find time. Trust me, that time will never come your way if you don't make any effort to materialise it. You control your time, not the other way around.
I sound like a broken vinyl but I keep telling my friends and I keep reminding myself too, that life is too short. God works in mysterious ways and is capable to wreck havoc to people's lives and of course He has his reasons which I am not too keen to know. Just give me what I deserve and just give me enough time to lead a meaningful life, a life which I can say, yes I was a happy person on earth. We become de-sensitized to many things in life, because we have been hurt even by people we love or once loved. We have become immuned, like how some medication loses its efficacy after frequent dosage. We go crazy in our heads and shield ourselves from endless opportunities, we live in the past, wollow in self pity. Sometimes missing opportunities which was just right there but we were too busy to grasp. Don't misunderstand me, I am not saying you must buy that car you cannot upkeep, I mean that's being an idiot. KISS, Keep It Simple Stupid. After a hellish week at work, make yourself a coffee, take it down to the pool and read a magazine. Go for a foot massage (no threshold for pain?) or go to the hair salon and have someone wash your hair for you, a bonus if the shampoo girl gives you a head massgae. See that drop dead dress at the window display, go into the shop, get a tag and try it on. If it fits, gives you a rush and if you seriously think you look great in it, cash it. Trust me, you get such a high knowing people is going to talk about your dress and hey, we need some compliments once in a while. Worst case if its beyond your wallet and costing you a month's pay, put it back on the rack, least you tried it on. Just remember to smile at the sales assistant and tell her you'll consider and come back after you lose a few inches, you'll make her day. You make impulse purchases, I have my fair share. I have a few pairs of shoes which are still in mint condition. Why, on that spur I felt I needed it nevemind if its too sexy for work in a school and 3 and a half inches high. We have our days like that. You wondered what got into you. But what the heck, if it made you happy that moment, nurtured that endorphin which was hidden somewhere at the back of your brain.
In February, I spent one weekend lugging a DSLR snapping pictures at Arab Street. I explored nooks and corners of Bussorah Road, Haji Lane, saw people smoking funny looking pipes. Walked right into bustling Bugis Street. Refreshing and very interesting, where have I been all this time? I never would have encountered this if not for my assignment to capture the essence of Arab Street and Bugis. Its "so happening" - smacked right here in Singapore. Why only take photos when you in another country. We have such a rich heritage, I am ashamed I missed all that. You don't need an expensive camera to take good photos. I made time to learn from Jino Lee on how to take good holiday photos. That was money and time well spent and that to me is a life long learning process. The results aren't great, but I became more aware of my surroundings and I became more knowledgeable.
When my colleagues dared me to take on the forest adventure, I gave no second thoughts. I completed my "obstacles", many times I sweared while overcoming the difficult ones. After some crash landings on the flying fox and having sand all over me, jumping off a 3 storey platform - I conquered the inner demon in me.
There's should always time for friends. You've got your family, and I've got mine. Nobody is going to deny that. Gone are your swinging single days when one simple phone call and nice venue, some nice members of the opposite sex was all it took for an exciting night out. Meeting friends these days calls for some serious logistic planning, even months ahead, all for a 90 minutes meal where everyone rushes to talk about their bambinos. I know of people who totally shut off friends after marriage and worse after they have children. At least some of you tried. Thank you for coming. They come up with some wierd, illogical reasons for not being able to come out in the evening because they have ageing parents. If you are going like "huh?", that's exactly how I felt. BTW this is based on a true story. The only valid reason you should not go out is when you are still in confinement. I think Mark Zuckerman had this vision and that explains why he has 400 million people on FB. He should retire now. He makes people have dinner online without having to move their fat bums. Even with such convenience, there's still people not having time for FB. With twitter and any social networking sites, we know what everyone is doing these days. How cool.
Find time with friends, with spouse, with mummy and daddy, siblings, children. Connect and have a real conversation with them. I spent too much time chasing the Singapore dream, I forgot my friends and I am now rushing to make up for lost time. Stay close to those you know will go the distance with you. They are worth your time and effort. Drop them an email, even if they far away on business trips or a good friend who has settled in another country. There's nothing more heartwarming to know there's someone out there across the miles thinking of you.
Time for coffee....and I am going to call my buddy now, yes I have time.
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