I did the right thing...move if I am not happy...

I applied for my first HDB flat in 1994 in Sengkang, Ponggol..I was 23, eager to have my own place with my then boyfriend.  Like every typical Singaporean couple, deciding to apply for a HDB flat was akin to a marriage proposal.  A mature estate was not within our means so we decided on Sengkang which is under the care of Ponggol-Pasir Ris Town Council.  The big attraction of this new town was the promise of a waterfront estate with lots of amenities for sea sports activities. My husband and I got married in 1997 in between the horrible long wait for our marital home. Imagine our enthusiasm...visiting our flat every month, taking photos to document the time lapse. We got our bunch of keys 2 years after we got married but the house was not home. It was tough commuting between work and having to drop my toddler to his grandma on a daily basis. We just can't do it everyday..no way.  We waited for the flat to complete for over five years and from the time we sold it in 2009, I am not sure if we stayed in it for 30 days in total. It became our weekend home which we spend lots of time dusting as it was empty during the week. It was too far from a child care centre, far from my mother in law.  There were hardly any amenities and no sign of that promise of a dream estate.   We just couldn't live in Ponggol even though we spent a great deal of time and hard earned money renovating my dream home which was not meant to be.  While we understand it was a new estate then, it needed time to mature.  Its been over 16 years now, we still hate the estate. Each time we drive past, we would somehow look at each other and realise how lucky we manage to sell the flat to a new FT. We never bonded with our house and definitely never love the estate till today. It is lifeless in our opinion.  If I was still a resident in Ponggol today and to have my MP threaten me like a ruffian, denying us of our basic rights, I have to look elsewhere sorry. Fortunately for you, Mr Teo, the opposition candidates are not that credible at this point, the majority will still vote for the ruling party.  The time will come when the tables will turn.

Thinking of buying or adopting a puppy?

I am dog ranting again...I have a lot of time ...so before you plonk a few hundred bucks on a puppy...I wish the seller would ask you some "don't bluff yourself" questions: 
1. Do you have time...HONESTLY? 
2. Can you stand a dog barking?
3. Do you allow your dog to roam freely in your house?
4. Are you allergic to hair, fur, dander, saliva etc
5. Do you mind picking poop DAILY?
6. Do you have persian rugs that are waterproof? 
6. Do you have the patience to bathe a fidgety puppy when at the end of the bath session, you are wetter than the dog?
7. Do you mind having your headphones chewed to oblivion?
8. Are you willing to spend some hard earned cash for grooming...
9. Dog..like human..they get sick...vets make a good living...nuff said.
10. Which of you willing to go for obedience school?
If you are thinking too hard now...perish the thought...dogs are not for you. If you are already a dog owner...we all need to attend some revision classes to learn how to scoop. Sadly many skip classes.
If your answers are mostly yes...good luck then...cuz most answers may become a no after you bring the dog home.  I love my rascal...I do have my ground rules, mind you I DON'T SPOIL the dog all the time...dogs are smart...they know who to reciprocate the love....and sometimes they just have to bark and jump. 
THESE ARE QUESTIONS YOU NEED TO ASK YOURSELF...NO STUPID SELLER WILL ASK YOU SUCH QUESTIONS...THEY WILL BE OUT OF BUSINESS...
I think the deal here is BE FAIR BE KIND. We need to understand their language...the puppy is also learning to adapt and understand our body language our world. Find an equilibrium and all will be happy. Brownie is only 1 year old...give him a break....

Doors of Malta

Photo credits to Dr. Jeffrey Twitchell-Waas, a friend currently residing in Malta after a work stint in Singapore as a Dean of College in an international school in Singapore.

I once told Jeff that I love rustic doors and he said he had just the right thing for me.  He sent me photos of these vibrant doors found all around the cobbled streets of Malta.  I absolutely love the solid colours on some of these doors, especially the warm reds.

These photos formed part of an assignment he was working on for some literature on Malta's tourism.  Jeffrey, I believe, must have taken that extra effort to snap a couple more of these for me. 

Malta is not your usual choice destination for travel but if you love history, amazing architecture with a strong Catholic influence (98% Catholics) with 350 churches around Malta (a church for every 1,000), this could be your next stop.

http://www.google.com.sg/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=1&ved=0CCkQFjAA&url=http%3A%2F%2Fen.wikipedia.org%2Fwiki%2FMalta&ei=OJZUU-y4DcWlrQft7IHgAw&usg=AFQjCNE2cM0dkU5A5c38zy-9Tl6oQ6dkaw&sig2=UY74VR5-eGyUCQuiJFtyTA&bvm=bv.65058239,d.bmk

Marina Bayfront, Singapore

Marina Bayfront.  Taken with a Canon Powershot SX30is.  A nightmare for night shots, but managed to eliminate some noise here.  One of my better shots.  Love the trail of lights coming from the barricades.

On a quiet street in Melaka, Malaysia

A random shot of a shop, no sign of any activity, the paint is old, thick layer of dust...wonder what's in there. Location: a street in Melaka, Malaysia.  Who's bike is that? Taken with a Sony Cybershot.

What is Success?

Staying positive is the key to many successes in life.  Its a mechanism that tunes your inner gut to control your brain by telling the bad guy who is lurking in an obscure corner, to get the hell out of your path.  Many times our own negativity can become an obstacle in our pursuit for better things in life.

To be deeply happy for a person in his successes in life is often hard to do without feeling a tinge of envy...the bad kind.  A spanking new car, a designer apartment or a good class bungalow, a dream job with a fat paycheck and all expense paid trip.  A winning formula to make any average Joe cringe and wallow in self pity.  Nothing wrong feeling this way and nothing wrong with Mr High Net Worth (Mr HNW) flashing his wealth.  He works hard for his money.  No one knows how much sacrifices he has made, how many labourious hours he clocked at work, how much hell he faced from his boss, after all we only see the fruits of his labour.

So Mr HNW post photos of his ski trip, beautiful and recognisable landmarks of the world drapes the background. He checks into one of the finest Michelin-star restaurant, parties at Pangea, gets invited to the Paddock with F1 drivers with poses with them holding a glass of Moet and just about everything that shouts ENVY...very green indeed.  Nothing much you can do about it.  You basically start blaming your folks for not sending you to a  top University, blame your grandparents giving birth to your parents, friends or worse your spouse for keeping you home leaving you no time to network with Mr HNW.  Ouch that hurts.

I really hate whoever coined term "high flyer" which my colleague uses time and again.  "Oh my friend has no time for me, she's a high flyer..." So what makes me?  A "low flyer"?  A certain amount of success in life culminates to being happy.  I am constantly harping on the Happiness Quotient (HQ) in my life.  I am consciously seeking a higher level of happiness.  Your HQ differs from every Tom, Dick, Harry, Peter, Paul and Mary.  I can be happy earning $5K a month while Miss High Flyer earns $20K.  Sure, her pocket is indeed deeper and while she wears Prada, I wear Bata. I probably sleep better than her and perhaps my Bata is better cushioned than her Prada and she could get blisters, corns and bunions. "wink"

Life has got no meaning if we chase the warped kind of happiness.  I was going home one day when I saw a man, hunched over seated on the floor at the bus interchange.  He seem shorter than an average person which I believed he probaby had a stunted growth.  He could probably walk as I see no walking aid near him and could possibly find a job you may say.  However if society scorns and thinks this person is unable to contribute to the work force, he has no choice but to beg.  We have been listed as the richest nation in the world but we have yet to become one of the most generous people around.  Can't we give unconditionally?  You can always give from the heart.  Compassion.  Share.  Don't question.  I dug into my not so fat wallet, drop a note into his plastic tray, he gave me a half smile, but it made me happy all the same. I am not sure how far my $2 can take him but I parted a little of what I have to make things a little better for a fellow human.  A few others acknowledged his presence, some walked away but made an unexpected u-turn for him.  Many thought he was a rubbish bin.  I did a mental note how many stopped to give, the results were astoundingly disappointing.   To be able to give, no matter how little, that's an intangible happiness, to me that is a form of success in life.

To have love and unity in the family or to have all the money in the world.  Tough choice but keeping all things constant, we will choose the former.  We have heard too many stories of people having money and no love.  People having money to buy love.  Lets not dwell with those who have no money and no love.  People being abandoned because they have no money.  Quite recently, a lady in Singapore won a jackpot at one of our casinos but the casino was defaulting the payout and wanted to compensate her with a car.  She brought them to court and won.  She won big.  Friends, relatives and even strangers all wanted a share of her winnings, all wanting her to be a good samaritan.  Due to the lawsuit, she became a household face and when the pressure became too great, she did the unthinkable (for some) - she gave them all away to charity....in order to tell the world, "hey, don't come to me, I have no money now, so who's my friend now?".  Isn't this how the world works, we want to be friends with the rich but not the poor.  People drop names just to be one step above you. 
Be friends with people from all levels of society.  One of the top executive in my workplace will never smile at me.  I haven't stopped smiling at her.  Will she relent one day - I don't know.  Perhaps to me, I had no place in her life.  I was made to feel like a microscopic germ.  A top executive but totally devoid of any basic manners.  Is she successful?  On the contrary, the cleaning lady on my floor, she is success personified.  A lovely lady, faces trash everyday but her friendly disposition makes all the difference...and I still feel bad she has to clean my desk.  So I make her work a little easier, I try to keep my desk clean and tells her my desk need no cleaning, probably once a fortnight for a thorough scrub.

I want to teach my children, that a good education alone does not make one a success material.  Its about how you treat your friends, your parents, grandparents, the gardener who sweeps the courtyard.  Attending an elite school should not breed arrogance and cockiness.  Its a privilege, that's all.  All of us want to become people of good character.   Having straight As does not equate having a straight A character.  Best to be remembered as one with an upright character, one who cares about society, the environment and most importantly knowing how to respect another fellow human being.  That to me epitomise success.

.....As we welcome 2013

Coming to the end of another crazy year, I sigh with a sense of relief.  Having two boys taking the PSLE exams two years in a row and now that everything is over with the new school year starting in less than a week, suddenly it all seems like I am now on cruise control.  My closest friends, though not many, know me as one who is laid back and passive parenting seems like an easier choice for me.  Lead by example.  If you yell at your kids, they will yell at you at some point.  You speak respectfully to the people  around you, your children will naturally emulate.  When my boys fumble, I also reflect upon myself.  Maybe I did the same and they think its alright too.  They are only 12, you think they can decide what's right or wrong?  To a large extend, they are really just kids.  That's why I take a step back and put myself in their shoes.  Its not easy being a child in Singapore.  In academic terms, there's just too much to study in a year, they are continuingly fighting for time, tests after tests, exams after exams. We seem like a happier bunch.  There's much more a stigma to fail your exams these days than years ago. After exams, my motto for them is "play all you want!". However, when its time for serious work, your kids need to know to stow their gadgets aside, at least for a while.  Not easy though.

I was extremely pleased with 2012.  My junior passed his exams and I know he did his best, that's what I need him to do regardless of the outcome.  He did not disappoint me yet surprised me.  He even proved a teacher wrong.  When a teachers tells you that your child is limited, you ask yourself if its true or you try to prove her wrong.  I did not tell my child the teacher shared this anecdote with us, how could I?  It was only when my child drive home an A for that subject that I told him that to have faith in oneself.  Only you and you alone can decide what you want in life and never let anyone tell you that you are finished or cannot ever succeed. 

As the days go by, everyone gets on with their own lives.  I get preoccupied with my immediate family.  I don't see my folks, siblings, nieces and nephews as often as I would like.  I try to make an extra effort to make time for them, even if I have to break my routine once in a while.  I think I am entitled to a bit of flexibility.  A break from routine is also refreshing to the soul.  It doesn't need to be a big family outing.  I realise a short drive to mum's place, for coffee and some good time chat and nibbles brings the family closer.  I am glad I don't need to take a plane to see my folks and siblings.
I have many expatriate friends and I can see how much they misses their friends and families when they make Singapore their second home.  I don't blame them for dashing out of Singapore the moment school vacation starts.  There's no place like home.

I spend most of my Christmas holidays going through my photos and videos I made over the years.  I particularly enjoyed watching my kids when their were babies and little tiny tots.  I often look at stranger's babies and envy the moment they have with their child.  But I quickly recall that I too had my moment years ago and I did savour it like they did.  The videos do help me remember and to relive those moments very vividly. 

With the year coming to an end, I wish to embrace 2013 like a new friend.  I want to get to know the world better.  Break some routine, get out of my comfort zone.  Talk less, see more...maybe eat less.  As much as I enjoy my food exploration, I am hoping to introduce more greens into my diet.  Cut out the fatty food.  Eat 70% full.  This may sound like a new year resolution set to fail.  I am not sure if I have to put all these writing on the wall to remind me not to eat the skin of fried chicken (KFC).  Someone's going to eat it, so am I making someone else eat my fats?  I think small steps are a better bet than giant leaps. I have forgotten how my gym looks like now.  I gave myself too many excuses. 
Its wonderful to see photos on Facebook of family get together, over a meal, at a park, a beach.  I wish to see more of these than reading if Mr X likes Carlsberg or likes Scoot.  Please do not get upset if you find yourself having lesser friends, if you are even keeping track.  There will be one or two people you have befriended but have made no difference to your lives, feel free to delete them.  There's a high chance that you have also been deleted from some of your friend's account.  There's no need to stress over FB.  If you find that you need to get gratifications from seeing 101 likes on your food post, go get a life.  If you don't like what you read or see, just move on. 

In this festive season, just spare a thought for those lonely people out there.  Some you know, some you don't.  In your own way, just pray for those whose family are torn apart in some ways you won't ever understand.  Do not judge.  Some are suicidal, some are sadden and lost in this big big world.  They have no friends to turn to.  Best friends are not in their vocabulary.  A few kind words for them could sometimes save their lives.  As the world becomes more and more a cruel place, with mindless killings, shooting incidents and irresponsible hit and runs, causing loss of lives, let us just pray in our own faith that the coming new year and many years to come bring more peace to the world.  Peace within the family, within oneself, inner peace.  Surround us with more love and harmony.  Keep it simple.  All we need is LOVE.

Happy New Year to all my love ones and friends and those dropping by to read my ramblings.  Take lots of photos of your loved ones, places you visit, things you have, food you eat...

To my spouse, my boys, family and friends, I luv ya.

Shaz